Saturday, May 10, 2014

Let the Dream Die

It creeps up on me sometimes. The feelings catch me off gaurd and in my surprise, I'm left wondering if I missed it. If I missed my calling.

I used to be an actress. It was how I made my living; acting was what I did and who I was.

Then I the ripe old age of 21. Ha! No but really, I left the industry and haven't looked back. Except sometimes I do.

I wonder if I should have stuck with it, put up with the stress, the lack of privacy, the scrutiny, the travel. It was rewarding to work hard and get praised. Let's be honest, who wouldn't like that? But a few things happened that made me realize that the industry is not very forgiving.  Even in the Christian film arena, you have to be all in. You have to keep up with the fast pace or you'll be left behind.

I knew it wasn't something I wanted to bring into my marriage. When I married Dylan, I left it all behind willingly. Not because he asked me to, but because I didn't want that life for us. 

But still, sometimes I get job offers and that old feeling comes back around. But you know what? It's okay to close one chapter of your life and let it go. Its okay to know that you might have been super successful if you had stuck with it.

The Lord knows the days ahead of us and that makes it incredibly hopeful! Be encouraged today that if you let a dream die that the Lord will meet you there and show you your worth and value is in Him and not in the world's praise.

I know I'm just preaching to myself, but now I feel better. Haha.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Live a Good Story

There's a story pinging back and forth on the internet about a woman who had been stranded on a desert island for 7 years. The story goes that a kid in Minnesota was browsing google earth and found her SOS message and she was rescued. What an amazing story! How wonderful.
Then I did a little research and found the whole story was a hoax. I turned to Dylan and said, "I can't believe it. That's so sad. Why can't it be true?" He looked at me and replied, "But dear. She never was even stranded in the first place." I sighed, "I know! But I wanted it to be true. Its so disappointing that the miracle didn't even happen."
Before I even finished that sentence  I started having one of those moments where life makes a little more sense.  Isn't a good story made up of difficult times and miracle moments? What if we viewed our lives as a story and lived with faith knowing that the current difficult time will only result in an incredibly epic ending?
To have that epic miracle and tell a good story, we must walk through the middle chapters, the mundane, the tough.  Only then will the ending be fulfilling. This is basic stuff. But for me, tonight, it made sense. I'm connecting dots. Making sense of the story I'm living.
I could spend hours writing up details on the miracles God has done for me. Here's one: Two weeks ago found us sitting in the tax office, preparing our taxes. Are you kidding me? We owe AGAIN? I thought we had fixed this so it wouldn't be a problem this year. Sigh. Fine. There goes the bit of buffer we've been saving.
Dylan looked at me and said, "Its going to be just fine. Don't worry." I was worrying. I do it well.
The office sound system changed songs. "Oceans" by Hillsong. In H & R Block? That is MY song. I only have 3 songs on my phone and I listen to Oceans either on my drive to or from work every single day. Its my anthem, a daily reminder of He who holds it all. As the song played, I looked down at my phone and saw that God was echoing Dylan's words. This is a screenshot.

And right then, that moment crossed in to the miracle moment zone. Instead of owing a couple grand, we actually are receiving money back. Now isn't that epic story telling? You have to admit that if we hadn't had that hour of disappointment, we wouldn't have noticed the  ending as the victory it was.
So. Don't get lost on an island for 7 years or anything. Just live a good story. 

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Morning Routines

I used to like to think that I was a spontaneous person.

Print from Emily Burger Designs
But come to find out that I so am not.

Not that I like it this way. Really I would love to be that type of person who randomly calls a friend to come over and hang. Even when Dylan plans something fun like a night at the movie theater, he knows that he needs to give me  few hours to get used to the idea.

Some of us thrive on change and some of us love our routines.

I've found that if I start my day off right, I am happier all day long.

I roll out of bed and drive to crossfit. After an hour of sweating and throwing weights around, I feel better. Stronger. But more on that some other time.

Work for me is normally 11-7 or 12-8. I love this schedule! It gives me time to make a healthy breakfast and spend some time sitting with my coffee. I don't like having to rush to get ready, I like to go slow in the mornings.

I open the Word and let Life flow through my mind and hopefully seep deep into my heart. I don't believe that the daily reading of the Bible makes me any more holy...but if it brings me closer to God and I become more like Him, then that's the kind of holiness I want.

So....routines and rhythms... are you a fan?

Personally, I am so grateful that God gave us order in the midst of a very crazy world. He must have known we would need something steady to hold on to. Let's all seek to hang on to Him and His steadiness and not just our routines. Because when our life gets turned upside down, we are going to need more than crossfit and quiet coffee times to remain steady.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..."

Thursday, September 19, 2013


This guy...

There aren't enough words to explain how deep my love for him is. He's my best friend, my biggest fan. Seriously, he is so supportive to me! Whatever crazy idea I may get, he listens, smiles, looks at me like I'm a bit crazy, but then says(and he means it), "Well, dear, go for it."

I mean who just does that!?

He has so much wisdom and yet still lets me go down all kinds of rabbit trails with my plans and goals and ideas, and doesn't say, "I told you so!" when it doesn't work out, or my interests move on to my next crazy idea.

He is just what I need in a lifemate. We're a team. And he's pretty much the best looking. :-)