It creeps up on me sometimes. The feelings catch me off gaurd and in my surprise, I'm left wondering if I missed it. If I missed my calling.
I used to be an actress. It was how I made my living; acting was what I did and who I was.
Then I retired...at the ripe old age of 21. Ha! No but really, I left the industry and haven't looked back. Except sometimes I do.
I wonder if I should have stuck with it, put up with the stress, the lack of privacy, the scrutiny, the travel. It was rewarding to work hard and get praised. Let's be honest, who wouldn't like that? But a few things happened that made me realize that the industry is not very forgiving. Even in the Christian film arena, you have to be all in. You have to keep up with the fast pace or you'll be left behind.
I knew it wasn't something I wanted to bring into my marriage. When I married Dylan, I left it all behind willingly. Not because he asked me to, but because I didn't want that life for us.
But still, sometimes I get job offers and that old feeling comes back around. But you know what? It's okay to close one chapter of your life and let it go. Its okay to know that you might have been super successful if you had stuck with it.
The Lord knows the days ahead of us and that makes it incredibly hopeful! Be encouraged today that if you let a dream die that the Lord will meet you there and show you your worth and value is in Him and not in the world's praise.
I know I'm just preaching to myself, but now I feel better. Haha.