Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Coffee and All that Goes With It

Yesterday walking into work, I greeted my co workers and scanned the room. There. On Catherine's desk. A cup of Starbucks Coffee. Just seeing the coffee gave me an instant feeling of happiness. I craved it.

I never thought I was an addict.

But this morning I told my sister that feeling I had yesterday and she said, "Yeah that's what an alcoholic feels."


I had a headache all day. Couldn't think. Couldn't focus or relax. Until now. Walking into Starbucks, getting my Vanilla Latte. Sitting down to watch the world. It's happy. I'm myself.

Here in this place, I feel like I belong. These people with their laptops, school books, journals, and nerd glasses? These people I get. Without ever meeting them, I connect to them. It's not often that I feel this way. Recently I've felt out of place, out of myself, unable to understand who I am.

I feel like I'm watching the world go by without actually participating. I think introverts tend to feel this way. We are thinkers. We feel. We think. And think some more. I get overwhelmed easily, far too easily. It's probably not normal, but it's how God made me. It takes me longer to come to grips with change, but at the same time, I crave adventures and challenges.

I have this feeling like I'll never be able to understand who I am fully.

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